I have a very deep concern that within our Christian culture there is a pervasive notion of consumerism when it comes to churches. There is some segment of us that feels that church is basically a fast-food restaurant with only a McSecond of commitment. We’ve decided to eat at that restaurant this week, but maybe not next week or if the management doesn’t fix this or that then we aren’t coming back. I need to say a a few things.
Church Isn’t A Restaurant
- Church-Fil-A: Church isn’t a restaurant where you look at the menu and decide if you like it or not and if not you go choose another restaurant.
- Burger Church: Church isn’t a restaurant where if you don’t like the management you leave and go choose another restaurant.
- Jack-In-The-Church: Church isn’t a restaurant where if the food isn’t quite up to snuff one day you leave and choose another restaurant.
- Kentucky Fried Church: Church isn’t a restaurant where if you get bad service you decide to leave and choose another restaurant.
There are fair, real, and most importantly biblical reasons to leave a church. There are. That being said, in my experience, most people who leave churches don’t cite them. It’s usually: “I wasn’t treated well” or “I didn’t get fed” or “I don’t like the worship” or ” the pastor ignored me”. Those aren’t right, fair, or biblical reasons. They aren’t. Now, I don’t want to say that churches have the right to treat people poorly, handle the Scriptures wrongly, or ignore you, BUT that’s where the next point comes in.
Church Is A Faith Family
I have a great extended family. One of my favorite things in the world is to get together with them. I have great parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins, grandparents, etc. We have a really good time together. We talk, we eat, we laugh, we eat, we play games, we eat, we eat, we eat, we eat…Guess what…we disagree too. We have “discussions” (sometimes those discussions make our hearts beat fast and our voices elevate) and sometimes in those discussions we aren’t always on the same page. Guess what…we don’t miss the next family gathering. There may be some tension. There may be some hurt feelings. But there is one thing that underlines these difficult moments. There is one thing that brings us back to each other regardless and always causes us to be family again: WE LOVE EACH OTHER! We’re family, no matter what happens or what we end up saying we come back together. We apologize, we talk it out, we deal with the differences, but we don’t go get another last name because of it.
This is what churches MUST do. I wish the people who make up churches would understand that it doesn’t matter what our tastes are OR if our feelings are hurt OR if we feel slighted. We need to work things out, not for our sake (although it helps), but for the sake of the Gospel.
You know what that is: LOVE.
You know what it requires: HUMILITY.
You know what that means: REALIZING IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU.
Ok Jason, Is that Biblical?
Yes, I believe so. Read these passages, I ask that you read them slowly (let each word sink in), even pray them, meditate on them, and see what God might show you.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things endures all things.(1 Corinthians 13.4-7…It’s not really a wedding passage, it’s a CHURCH passage)
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2.1-4…Read verses 5-11 if you really want to be convicted).
A Final Plea
If you are considering leaving a church, whatever church, please ask yourself ‘why’. If the reason has the word “I” in it you may need to reconsider.
Resources
I’ve said before that I read a lot. There is a great book out there on this very topic. It’s called
Stop Dating the Church!: Fall in Love with the Family of God
By Joshua Harris (Yes, the I Kissed Dating Goodbye guy). Don’t worry, it’s short. You can get it here:
